Back to School Lessons in Embracing Paradox and Change

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by Shelly Francis, Marketing and Communications Director

Posted August 9, 2012

It’s almost Back to School time, almost time to launch my son off to college. Wil is my one and only, and I really like him. He’s going to Boston and I’m moving from Denver to Seattle to join the staff at the Center for Courage & Renewal.

As I launch myself into this new semester -- knowing my inner teacher enrolled me, including the when and where of it -- I deeply appreciate that my new work is about affirming the power of paradox. Empty nest & feathering new nests. Happy & sad. Exciting & daunting. Grateful & grieving. Shadow & light. Endings & beginnings.

I am appreciating paradox and the power of words to name these both/and’s as a natural, necessary balance to life. I am reaching into my toolkit to find soul-sustaining devices and really use them: music with lyrics meant just for me, a poem with stanzas to repeat like a mantra, photos to make metaphors full of meaning, pictures Wil drew in first grade.

Wil has embodied his own mantra for launching his life off to college, newly inked on his forearm around the anchor he sneaked onto his skin in 10th grade: a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.

smoothsea-tattoo

(I wonder, does his inner teacher see his tattoo right-side up and whisper it back in his ear?)

What soul-sustaining words help you to face and embrace life when it changes? Please add your thoughts to the comments.

P.S. Speaking of Back to School, teachers, remember to send us your poetry for our new book!

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Comments (10)

Aug 09 2012 | Karen Erlichman - Turning of the Light

The beginning of the school year was always a shiny, sparkly, gleeful season for me as a child, yet it was also punctuated by uncertainty about what it would be like. The paradox of newness, of letting go of what has been and opening ourselves to the unknown, is actually a daily practice, moment by moment, breath by breath. What grounds me, what sustains my soul is feeling connected to the seasons, the turning of the light in the end of summer, the autumn scents and colors (from childhood), knowing somewhere in my gut that there will be another spring.

Aug 09 2012 | Kelly M

The entire book of "Illusions" by Richard Bach! But in particular, these 2 quotes:
"Every person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you. "
"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly."

Aug 09 2012 | Courtney Martin - What a beautiful post, Shelly.

I'm thinking of you and your son during this big transition. I offer you a piece my friend Michele made on her own "empty nest": http://www.alternet.org/one-moms-effort-dampen- down-medias-empty-nest-hysteria

As far as my words, I always find comfort in the idea of "trusting the process," simple as that may be. I've learned that, even as a writer, I can never write a premature conclusion. I don't know why things unfold they way they do in the moment, so I try to dig in, get curious, and anticipate the delight of the conclusion I didn't even know to write.

Aug 10 2012 | Shelly Francis

Karen, the seasons sustain me, too. I love looking for the first yellow leaf noting that fall is on the way --and wonder what autumn will look and feel like in the Pacific NW instead of Colorado.
Kelly, I love Richard Bach's book "Illusions" too, especially the idea "everything in this book may be wrong" to allow for changing ideas, finding your own truths.
Courtney - your friend's blog on the Empty Nest syndrome is a great commentary on what happens when we don't embrace the natural flow and seasons of parenting (repeating the link here http://bit.ly/OWMPex ). My mantra for my own empty-nest phase is "Launch. Let Go. Laugh. Live."

Aug 15 2012 | Sarah W Bartlett - Empty nesting, change, sustaining the spirit

Shelly - like others, I found this post moving and resonant. My own empty-nest post appeared a bit back: 6/4/12 at

What sustains my soul is the very act of putting words to paper; then reading what I have pulled forth. Much of course has come from reading and experiencing, over and over, themes from Parker and the Center for Courage and Renewal. Because, like you, this is the work I do in the world - www.womenwritingvt.com.

Thanks for your words. I plan to visit again soon! - Sarah

Aug 15 2012 | Erin Lane - A Mother's Song

The words that sustain me during life's changes were sung to me my mother (a slight variation on an old hymn):

Oh, oh, oh
I've got a feeling everything's gonna be okay,
I've got a feeling everything's gonna be okay,
I've got a feeling everything's gonna be okay,
Gonna be okay, Gonna be okay, Gonna be okay

Even if I'm in tears or laughter when I'm singing it, I know I'll survive if I can just get through all the lyrics once.

Thanks for helping me to recall these words, Shelly!

Aug 16 2012 | Kathleen Wucherpfennig

Hi Shelly! This is my first of what will be many visits to your blog.
I am so glad you are writing here, not just for me but for the benefit of so many others. Wishing you the best as you bring
courage and renewal to the world! Kathleen

Aug 21 2012 | valerie brown - WELCOME SHELLY!

The lessons of paradox and change are nonstop. Just yesterday, I attended two yoga classes nearby. I thought I knew all about yogic breathing, and was surprised to discover for myself, yet again, the beauty and complexity of just breathing.

This was my back-to-school lesson of the day!

Hugs,

Valerie

Sep 04 2012 | Mary Ann - New Life

I am again learning about paradox and change as I am now a Greatgrandmother! When the news came of my 16 year old granddaughter's pregnancy, I was crushed! We are now ecstatic and joyfully getting to know a wonderful, happy, exuberant, almost three year old great-grandson. His mom is a full time pre-nursing student and his father is a regular part of his life. Miracles abound!