A Poignant Moment


Reflections from Executive Director Terry Chadsey

The other night I gathered in the hospital room with family around the bedside of an elderly loved one.  It was a poignant moment. She was hospitalized for a diagnostic procedure. The immediate findings were not good. More will be known when the biopsy results return. Yet, I witnessed that night a convergence of forces that made it a lovely if rare human moment.
 
The relationships: on the spur of a moment, the room was full of loving family, three generations, children and children in laws, grandchildren and their partners. Each individual was dealing with the meaning of this difficult situation in their own way and together.  There was love, humor, sadness, and problem solving in the room and everyone was present.
 
The professional: the surgeon arrived to report the results of the procedure to the patient. I watched a master professional at work. He first of all connected with the patient. There might as well not been anyone else in the room. He was not distracted. He knew for whom he was there in that moment. He was warm, clear and honest. He connected. He described what she needed to know and answered her questions. She listened carefully and thanked the doctor. I could only imagine the work and attention he has done to be there in that way at the end of a harried work day. My mind was brought to Parker Palmer’s essay on “The New Professional”  that challenges us to ensure that this core capacity is an outcome of professional education.
 
The institution: my eyes wandered to a poster on the bulletin board in that hospital room. It said, “We recognize the important role that patients and families play in health care. As we care for patients, we honor the strengths, priorities and preferences of each patient and family and involve them in medical decisions, every step of the way.”  Too often such posters are rendered ridiculous because what’s happening in the room is the opposite of such stated intentions. That evening, that moment, this was not true. It was a wonderful point of alignment between the rich family relationships forged over lifetimes, a professional who knew that all his skill and knowledge was in service of making a human connection, and an institution that publicly professes to support such practice.  
 
This is the work of the Center for Courage & Renewal: to nurture personal and professional integrity and the courage to act on it, knowing that when individuals fully claim their full potential, then they call on their families, their communities and their organizations to do so as well.
 
What are your own stories when relationships, professionalism and institutions converge to create such a human moment?

 

Comments (2)
  • Aug 23 2010 | Jane Westergaard-Nimocks  - a similar experience that changed my view of the w
    A few years ago, I fell off my roof at home and suffered multiple fractures across my body. I was transported to Harbor View. Although I heavily medicated, I rode in the ambulance with a lot of fear for having to go to a hospital. I have spent numerous times with my parents during their stays at the hospital. Never did I feel they were safe and comfortable without someone from the family in the room with them. I was sure I was in for an unsettling experience, receiving inappropriate and/or poor medical treatment.

    I was soon to find peace and protection under the care of the doctors, nurses and staff of Harborview. My three surgical teams (yes, all of them in each team) visited me every morning by 5:30 am for two weeks. Each team when at my bedside was completely focused on my needs, comfort and the medical procedures required to heal me. I never waited more than 30 seconds for a response to my call for assistance. My wants and needs were anticipated, sometimes even before I knew what I wanted and needed. The nurses kept a couple of food items that were particularly soothing and comforting to me in their staff refrigerator. The PT's made sure I got out of my room early in my stay even though I could not put weight on my feet, nor sit up in a chair. They had a guerney that once I was trasferred to in a prone position, comfortable folded up into a chair that my family could push outside to the garden. My physical, emotional and social needs were attended to with great skill, care and passion.

    Due to the serious nature of the fall, my thinking and feelings were very fragile. It was the most critical time for me to have 360 degree care, delivered with such kindness, sensitivity and care. I consider my fall a gift which gave me the opportunity to learn deep in my soul, as well as, my brain, the vital role relational service plays in achieving the desired outcomes of the service.

    I no longer can work in any situation without spending 50% of my effort to plan for and implement how the work I am doing will be delivered in an effective relational manner and environment. My work as an administrator and teacher has forever changed to be based on empathy, care, concern and relationships delivered through a democratic and respectful process.

    My surgeons always communicated their focus was on me and my needs. They used our conversations and their examiniations as the determiner of what would happen next. Never did they talk about what they wanted to do, they asked me what I needed and then explained how that could happen and whether or not I was comfortable with their direction.
  • Sep 06 2010 | Randy De Trinis  - Retiree
    I know Mr Palmer has spoken of Thomas Merton often in the past. I thought he and perhaps you all would enjoy this article concerning my acquaintance with him in the 50s.

    Website: http://mertonocso.wordpress.com/
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